Do something unique that benefits you.
Background
In 2004, something was created and went on to define the function of countless future media products and services.
It was Facebook.
Facebook had a head-start being launched in 2004 and it was the around 2007–2012 that it became the go-to social media platform before other modern social media platforms were created, let alone gain momentum.
Whatsapp was launched in 2009, Instagram was created in 2010, Snapchat was created in 2011 along with FB Messenger. Do you what else became more mainstream in 2009? YouTube.
Along the same timeline, the first iPhone was introduced in 2007, and non of us kids had a “smartphone” up to 2010, until blackberry Mania hit, and every cool kid/teenager had to own a blackberry. Fast forward to 2012–2013 where smartphones became more evolved and mature when our age group started to get their hands on those “cool-kids” gadgets.
The reason why I’m sharing this timeline is to make it abundantly clear that prior to 15 years ago, basically for the entirety of human civilization, humans were perfectly capable of building societies, connections, relationships without “social media”. Internet itself is a little less than 38 years-old and it has only been roughly 10 years or so since all those new possibilities materialized.
A trip down memory lane takes me to 2010–2012, a time when I had a Facebook account with 600+ friends. It was peak time for Facebook games, chatting, sharing pictures and tagging friends, sharing random opinions and thoughts about things, let alone witnessing the booming of memes.
By 2014, I decided to test myself and deleted my Facebook account with 700+ friends. No deactivation and no deleting of an app. It was complete obliteration of my social media presence and I didn’t have any other social media account on other platforms at the time. There was no way of rebuilding this 700+ network again and I accepted that.
It was an awkward 6-month period after where whenever I met someone new who wanted to add me on Facebook, I gave them my number to text me conventionally or through WhatsApp. It was then followed up by confused looks as to why wouldn’t I just have social media and use it moderately like everyone else. Also, unprompted, they would assume that I had an addictive behavior towards it and they go on explaining defensively how they don’t use social media that much and how it doesn’t negatively affect them. So how did that make me feel?
The Emotional Conundrum
On one hand, I felt so much more at peace without social media, I was super aware of my surroundings and others’ behaviors, and I was able to focus and get things done, it felt great. On the other hand, I felt like I was insulting and rejecting a way of living that has been there through the ages (even though it hasn’t been) whenever I told someone I wasn’t on social media. I definitely couldn’t keep up with the new internet memes, and just generally, I felt like I was missing out..
This led me over the next 6–7 years or so to create and delete my Facebook account 2 more times with significantly less number of “virtual” friends every time along with countless times of digital detoxes and deletion and re-downloading apps whenever I felt I was spending more time on them than I should.
Two years ago, I got on Instagram bandwagon and started sharing some stories and posts, and it was fun for a while.. to feel that you are part of the new thing.. until I noticed a couple of things.
What I have Noticed
Apart from satisfying one’s ego, getting virtual validation of one’s accomplishments, and just the day-to-day dopamine-fix through anticipation of getting likes and virtual social compliments, there are two key observations that are usually overlooked;
1- Consumption Cravings. Even if you are not someone who posts regularly, there is something else you are probably struggling with. It doesn’t matter what platform you are using, it is really all about the need to consume a “thing”. It is a new norm to consume a lot of information, and it doesn’t matter whether it is useful or not. If you delete YouTube, you will spend more time on Reddit, if you delete both you will just spend time googling random stuff and reading endless Wikipedia pages. The same applies to conventional social media apps; checking Instagram stories, looking through cool crafts, reading about hacks on how to save more time for 3–4 hours while you could have actually went on and did that thing you needed to save time for.
2- Awkwardness Shield. The convenience of getting your phone out of your pocket and immediately finding something to keep your attention is such a powerful force. This is really a mind opening one for me. How many times have I decided to avoid the possibility of a conversation with a stranger by pretending to focus really hard on my phone as if I’m doing something important? Bus stops, before meetings, lineups, appointments, hangouts, before class begins, etc. It makes me wonder how much better I would be socially if I had overcame that minuscule awkwardness and seized upon even half of those times to strike a conversation with a complete stranger?
What I have Learned
I recently came across a summary of Car Newport’s Digital Minimalism book. and it has three intriguing principles that stood out to me and were available on deepstash so I just pasted them below for your convenience;
“
- Clutter is costly. Digital minimalists recognize that cluttering their time and attention with too many devices, apps, and services creates an overall negative cost that can swamp the small benefits that each individual item provides in isolation.
- Optimization is important.To truly extract the full potential benefit of a technology, it’s necessary to think carefully about how you’ll use it.
- Intentionality is satisfying. Digital minimalists derive significant satisfaction from their general commitment to being more intentional about how they engage with new technologies. ”
I’m not here to tell you to get rid of social media, reduce your consumption, or be more productive. All I’m here to say is that you don’t have to quit something just because it is harmful. Sometimes there are some things in life that if given up or reduced in consumption greatly, may result in a much higher return in other aspects of your life.
I think that those three principles deserve intense reflection and go beyond just being more mindful and deliberate with technology.
I truly believe that looking at one’s life and being more deliberate about what we let into our world and how we interact with the universe around us can have a substantially positive impact on your life.
